Communication Is a Two-way Street

"A conversation is the process of alternating outflowing and inflowing communication."

"There is a basic rule here:

"HE WHO WOULD OUTFLOW MUST ALSO INFLOW.

HE WHO WOULD INFLOW MUST ALSO OUTFLOW.

When we find this rule overbalanced, in either direction, we discover difficulty.

A person who is only outflowing communication is actually not communicating at all, in the fullest sense of the word. For in order to communicate entirely, he would have to inflow as well as outflow. A person who is inflowing communication entirely is, again, out of order For if he would inflow he must then outflow.

carefully listening is a skill many people never learn. They find it difficult to listen. Yet if you never master this important communication skill, people do not like to talk to you.You fail to skillfully inflow communication if you have one or more of these bad habits.

Ten Bad Listening Habbits

1. Appearing to listen. You nod, you smile, you agree with everything people say. But you don't hear a word. But the game is over when you ask a question about something the person already answered.

2. Resistance. You find ways to change the subject, distract the speaker or forbid discussion of a topic. Resistance simply puts off an inevitable confrontation.

3. Selective hearing. Tuning out or filtering out what you don't want to hear. It takes a lot of practice to filter out certain topics, but some people do it well. For example, a boss gives an order and a suggestion. The employee hears the order but tunes out the suggestion. The employee describes a productivity problem and hints about a raise. The boss focuses on the production problem and never hears the hint.

4. Calculating while listening. Forming an answer. Working out a response. Thinking of ways to escape. You are less interested in what the person has to say than in what you will be saying or doing next.

5. Cutting in. You listen to some of the data, jump to a conclusion and cut the person off. Or maybe you interrupt with a question or abruptly change the subject. If you do this, you not only upset people, you often reach the wrong conclusion. When you cut people off, they feel you do not give a darn about them.

6. Spacing out. Day dreaming, drifting off, thinking of something else. Because you can listen twice as fast as people can speak, you get bored. You make the person feel unimportant.

7. Interpreting everything. You can't take information at face value so you look for hidden meanings. "So when you say that you won't help me, are you really saying you don't like me?" "Because you won't buy from me, does that mean you think I'm a crook?" "Are you actually angry but just being polite?"

8. Listening with an attitude. Instead of simply listening, you feel pressed for time or angry or unhappy. Maybe you do not believe the speaker. Regardless, you send body language. The speaker is distracted and fails to say what he or she wants to say.

9. Equating what people say to something else. Examples: A friend talks about his money problems while you think about your own money problems. Your spouse talks about taking a vacation while you think about asking your boss for time off.

10. Story topping. Cutting people off to tell them your better idea or more interesting experience. For example, someone says, "I met the mayor last night . . ." and you jump in and say, "Did I tell you about the time I met the governor?" It's hard for you to ever let others be more important, more knowledgeable or more interesting than you. One Great Listening Habit

"Happiness is power and power is being able to do what one is doing when one is doing it."

If you really want to be a great listener, you sit there and do nothing else except listen. You treat the person's communication as the most important communication you have ever received. Say to yourself, "Right now, there is not one thing more important than truly understanding this person." Look at the person with no other thought in mind. Make good eye contact. Get completely focused. Do nothing but listen.

Recommendations

1. Notice how people listen to each other this week. Find three of the bad listening habits and what happens as a result.

2. For all conversations you have this week, give 100% of your attention to the person. Understand what they say exactly. Notice their reactions.

3. To see the difference, consciously use one or more of the bad habits, instead of carefully listening, and notice how people react.

life's thoughts

life is like a leaf , what i thought today while travelling in the bus.

when i was coming back from the college, i torned some leaves from a tree and started waiting for the bus to come. i at that time started torning the leaves from it's nearest branch (or i don't know the exact term for that part). what i realised while doing that, was something that left an impression on my mind about truth of life.

at that time, i was handling that leaves so i was the owner or user of that. i was the one who can use them in decoration or thrugh that in waste. i started torning that slowly and heared the voice of leaves as they were asking not to torn them, they were requesting me not to torn them, but as i want i did that (i.e i torned them) at the same instance, my mind striked me and told this is the way when god wants our life back from us then he doesn't wait for anything. he must have planned further for good of us or of others. he similarly did like us as an owner of anything having the right to destroy or to remain us alive for furte life. it is in his hands, we are just like a toy of his hands, playing our roles and if work or play completed then our game is over and he pulls us back for his love.

for what we are maknig haste or why somebody is killing other in any way, he is the supreme having all's threads and waiting for our finishing time. so live good , play nice roles that is the way of success.

what i felt .

These days, i am staying little away from my friends, i don't know what has happened with me. i want to remain alone and want to give time to my self more than others, but somewhere i am realising this too, that i am not managing anything, i am learning managing skills from my experiences. these days might be bad, i am alone and not meeting and talking with others but i am understanding self and others. that is a good point, i am learning how we have to live in this world. show your sminling face to everyone and take help from that who helps others.

all looks like animals only fulfilling their needs and stomach, to me. but instead of all this a face or a true face is coming infront of me.

as i take example of my friend, who wants to meet me because of completing his wish of roaming around on roads or in parks. only for that. and somewhere i look everyone in greed including my self as i am writing this to make people and be emotional to me. but i don't want that too. i donot want anybody's help and favour.

if i look from a different point of view then it seems, myself living in the world of negative thoughts and they are making me feel so.

the more and more i go beyond my thoughts or i get deep in to them, i find my self more weak and more negative towards everything. so what should i do, i should wait for the good time to come or i myself make try to make my life good and happy accepting all these things.

does i include this negativenessin my ways to success. is it benefiting me in any ways. still i am learning something from this time.

JAI SHREE RAADHE

HAPPY JANAMASHTMI.

THAT IS LORD KRISHNA IS HAVING HIS BIRTHDAY, TODAY. SO SAY WITH ME

HARE RAM HARE RAM, RAM RAM HARE HARE.

HARE KRISHAN HARE KRISHAN, KRISHAN KRISHAN HARE HARE.

Birth of Lord Krishna
Janmashtami is celebrated to welcome and enjoy Lord Krishna's birth. The birth of Lord Krishna took place when the various planets were in auspicious places. It is said that God chooses a particular time, as to when he will take birth as a human and the planetary systems are adjusted accordingly.

Auspicious Nakshatra (Constellation)

Around the time of Bhagwan Krishna's birth, Rohini Nakshatra was predominant as it is considered to be quite auspicious. This is so because it is under the supervision of Brahma, the creator of Universe. Sri Krishna was born in the month Of Sravana more than 5000 years ago.

Born in Dwapur Yug (Iron Age)

According to some scholars, Krishna was born on Wednesday,the eighth day of second fortnight in Sravana month in the year of Visvavasu around 3227 BC, also known as Dwapur Yug. July 19th 3228 BC to be more accurate. He lived for 125 years and disappeared on February 18th 3102 BC on the new moon night of Phalguna. His death was the onset of the current corrupt age known as Kaliyug.

Universal Happiness of all Forms of Life

From the time, Devki conceived Sri Krishna, she began to glow and exude divine light. The prison walls glowed with the aura of the new born infant. Atmosphere of peace and happiness prevailed all over, Forests were all green and full of trees with all kinds of beautiful flowers, rivers were all swollen due to joy, peacocks began to dance in sheer joy, people in all villages started being happy.

Objective of Krishna's Birth

The main objective of Lord Krishna's birth was to free Mother Earth from the wickedness of demons. Playing an important part in Mahabharata (legendary battle in Kurukshetra) and propagating the theory of bhakti and good karma were other important objectives.

Events Before The Birth of Sri Krishna

The people of Mathura were extremely unhappy with the wicked king Kansa who put his father, king Ugrasen in prison and declared himself the king of Mathura. It was to put an end to his evil ways and other demons that Lord Vishnu decided to take birth on Earth in human form. According to Akashvani (heavenly voice) at the wedding of his beloved sister Devki, Kansa got to know that the eighth child of his sister will take birth to kill him. So, in turn he rushed to kill his sister. Kansa gave up the idea of killing after being assured by Vasudev that he will handover all his children to him. He put them in Prison. Kansa killed all the six infants as soon as they were born. The seventh child (Balram) was saved due to divine intervention, when he was transferred from Devki's womb to that of Rohini's (other wife of Vasudev).

Events During the Birth of Lord Krishna

Lord Krishna was born in a prison cell in the captivity of King Kansa. He took birth in divine form with lotus like eyes,his palms bearing the signs of a lotus and discus. He had a swastika sign on his sole. Wearing a yellow colored silk cloth, adorned with precious diamond earrings and a crown made of emeralds. Soon after the birth, a chain of events astonished Vasudev,when he saw the gates of the cell flow open and all the guards fast asleep. He immediately thought of Nand ,his close friend in Gokul and decided to handover his child to him in order to save him from the clutch of Kansa.

River Yamuna Bows To The Feet of Sri Krishna

The night of birth was witnessed by heavy rains which led to River Yamuna being in floods. As soon as the feet of Lord immersed in the river, the flow became normal and Yamuna made way for the Lord. Sheshnag, the serpent formed an umbrella to save the new born baby from rain.

Exchange of the Babies

Vasudev kept his child next to fast asleep Yashoda and took the baby girl lying with him back to Mathura. The baby girl is believed to be the sister of Lord Vishnu.

Disappearance of The Divine Child

On hearing the news of birth of the eighth child of Devki and Vasudev, Kansa rushed to the prison-cell and lifted the baby girl to kill her despite pleadings from Devki. However, instead of hitting the stone, the child flew up in the air and announced that the annihilator of Kansa was born and in safe hands.Krishna later grew in Gokul and finally killed his maternal uncle, King Kansa.

LOVE

"We are born for love, it is the principle of existence, and its only end."
including love in success hears and looks odd to me also, but i thought a lot that love is the only purpose of life and loving is the beginning of every thing and it is the only end of life too. today, i want to write some things related to me, it would not be intresting somewhere but it would be relating some of us in many ways. it might be bringing some of us towards success and would be taking away from success.
i have met many people in my life yet, but non of that has taken special space in my heart. cause i have not given any space to tham in my heart. i was involved with many of then in many work, in many parties, in many get togethers too. nut i felt apart and aside of them many times, because i fet what we will gain from these things or meetings but what now i reliazes at this moment of life that, all things are waste except being with friends, being in love with all, and meeeting with friends and laughing with them is the only soul purpose of life somewhere.
i many a times also thought that, i will live my life in this way or that way but, this only gave tension and waste of time to me cause to learn life is id to live life's every moment with joy. cause we all will get departed someday, sometime but the only thing which will be left with us will be, only and only the talks and fun which we made with our friends.
ealier i used to live with every thing like i am passing my own time, i thought that i am clever and can do every thing,. but what these all gave to me is nothing just waste of my own life's precious time. cause it was in habbit of mine, which i reliased now. i reliased and came to know about self, knowing myself is like a mirror of my own image. what i feel now that i am running alone in a race course. running like a player who don't have any competitor, who don't have anyone behind him for his buck up. it seems like confusing words but need a lot of presence of mind, some may think i am a confused one. but i am not that, i am in also in those who want loe and its sharing with everyone.
i have used "i" many times in my sentences above, this shows that i am staying in my self. lol. making my self more complexive in nature and all these brings me to a conclusion of loving some but soully and every moment of life.
what you think am i fully expressing my self or not. expressing is knowing self and others.