If nothing ever scares you, success is easy. You never feel hesitant, shy or nervous. You take action.
However, when you do not act, it is probably because of fear.
Fear is the inability to face someone or something. You prefer to avoid it. When you cannot face an issue, it seems complicated or stressful.
For example, if you cannot talk about money with people, you have money problems. Whenever you need to ask for money or negotiate financial terms, you freeze. As a result, you earn less money.
If you are an employer, but cannot face staff conflicts, production statistics decline. Work becomes serious. Since no one resolves the staff problems, they persist while your business suffers.
Avoiding topics with your spouse is a common reason for marriage problems. Your fears block your communication. Hiding, withholding or suppressing your feelings and thoughts from your spouse is a giant leap toward divorce.
how fears are like shadows. If you reach out and take action despite your fears, you will discover how thin and weak the fears really are!
To illustrate this point, he wrote, "On Lake Tanganyika* the natives have a very interesting way of catching fish. There on the equator the sun shines straight down through the clear water. The natives take blocks of wood and string them along a long rope. They stretch this rope between two canoes and with these abreast begin to paddle towards the shoal** water. By the time they have reached the shoals, schools of fish are piled and crowded into the rocks and onto the beach. The blocks of wood on the rope make shadows which go all the way down to the bottom of the lake and the fish, seeing the approach of these shadows and the apparent solid bars which they form in the water, swim fearfully away from them and so are caught." -
Four Ways to Shine Light on Your Shadows
1. One effective method is drilling or role playing. You identify a circumstance that gives you fear. You pretend to face the situation in a role-playing exercise. Drilling allows you to discover which parts of the problem are really problems and which are simply shadows.
For example, you need to ask your boss for a raise. Before talking to him you practice the conversation with your friend. You work out some details, change your approach and work out your best possible presentation. Because you are prepared for the meeting, you are not as nervous.
2. Another method of reducing fear is to approach the problem with gradient steps. You cut the problem into smaller pieces. You successfully deal with the small parts and thus reach a full resolution.
For example, you need to fill out a 10-page government tax form. Instead of trying to take on the entire task in one day, you decide to just fill out the first page and then quit.
One page is much easier than ten pages! The next day, you decide to tackle pages two and three.
You continue like this and before you know it, you have completed the form. You have conquered your fear.
3. Talking about the fear can reduce the effects of fear. After you openly discuss it with someone who listens, the problem often feels less difficult.
For example, you are afraid of flying in an airplane. Your spouse agrees to listen to you and you spill your guts. You describe everything about flying that scares you. After a while, you decide you can fly.
talking and listening is a powerful form of therapy, when done correctly. As a result, you can completely remove your fears. For more information, click the link at the end of this article.
4. In many cases, the best approach to dealing with a fear is to close your eyes and jump in. You face the fear without any regard for your feelings and emotions. You might get nervous or even terrified, but once you take the leap, you discover the big monsters are merely shadows.
Confronting a fear can be tough, but the reward is enormous.
Succeeding, despite a fear, means you have done something you could not do before. And that is real success!