Communication Is a Two-way Street

"A conversation is the process of alternating outflowing and inflowing communication."

"There is a basic rule here:

"HE WHO WOULD OUTFLOW MUST ALSO INFLOW.

HE WHO WOULD INFLOW MUST ALSO OUTFLOW.

When we find this rule overbalanced, in either direction, we discover difficulty.

A person who is only outflowing communication is actually not communicating at all, in the fullest sense of the word. For in order to communicate entirely, he would have to inflow as well as outflow. A person who is inflowing communication entirely is, again, out of order For if he would inflow he must then outflow.

carefully listening is a skill many people never learn. They find it difficult to listen. Yet if you never master this important communication skill, people do not like to talk to you.You fail to skillfully inflow communication if you have one or more of these bad habits.

Ten Bad Listening Habbits

1. Appearing to listen. You nod, you smile, you agree with everything people say. But you don't hear a word. But the game is over when you ask a question about something the person already answered.

2. Resistance. You find ways to change the subject, distract the speaker or forbid discussion of a topic. Resistance simply puts off an inevitable confrontation.

3. Selective hearing. Tuning out or filtering out what you don't want to hear. It takes a lot of practice to filter out certain topics, but some people do it well. For example, a boss gives an order and a suggestion. The employee hears the order but tunes out the suggestion. The employee describes a productivity problem and hints about a raise. The boss focuses on the production problem and never hears the hint.

4. Calculating while listening. Forming an answer. Working out a response. Thinking of ways to escape. You are less interested in what the person has to say than in what you will be saying or doing next.

5. Cutting in. You listen to some of the data, jump to a conclusion and cut the person off. Or maybe you interrupt with a question or abruptly change the subject. If you do this, you not only upset people, you often reach the wrong conclusion. When you cut people off, they feel you do not give a darn about them.

6. Spacing out. Day dreaming, drifting off, thinking of something else. Because you can listen twice as fast as people can speak, you get bored. You make the person feel unimportant.

7. Interpreting everything. You can't take information at face value so you look for hidden meanings. "So when you say that you won't help me, are you really saying you don't like me?" "Because you won't buy from me, does that mean you think I'm a crook?" "Are you actually angry but just being polite?"

8. Listening with an attitude. Instead of simply listening, you feel pressed for time or angry or unhappy. Maybe you do not believe the speaker. Regardless, you send body language. The speaker is distracted and fails to say what he or she wants to say.

9. Equating what people say to something else. Examples: A friend talks about his money problems while you think about your own money problems. Your spouse talks about taking a vacation while you think about asking your boss for time off.

10. Story topping. Cutting people off to tell them your better idea or more interesting experience. For example, someone says, "I met the mayor last night . . ." and you jump in and say, "Did I tell you about the time I met the governor?" It's hard for you to ever let others be more important, more knowledgeable or more interesting than you. One Great Listening Habit

"Happiness is power and power is being able to do what one is doing when one is doing it."

If you really want to be a great listener, you sit there and do nothing else except listen. You treat the person's communication as the most important communication you have ever received. Say to yourself, "Right now, there is not one thing more important than truly understanding this person." Look at the person with no other thought in mind. Make good eye contact. Get completely focused. Do nothing but listen.

Recommendations

1. Notice how people listen to each other this week. Find three of the bad listening habits and what happens as a result.

2. For all conversations you have this week, give 100% of your attention to the person. Understand what they say exactly. Notice their reactions.

3. To see the difference, consciously use one or more of the bad habits, instead of carefully listening, and notice how people react.

life's thoughts

life is like a leaf , what i thought today while travelling in the bus.

when i was coming back from the college, i torned some leaves from a tree and started waiting for the bus to come. i at that time started torning the leaves from it's nearest branch (or i don't know the exact term for that part). what i realised while doing that, was something that left an impression on my mind about truth of life.

at that time, i was handling that leaves so i was the owner or user of that. i was the one who can use them in decoration or thrugh that in waste. i started torning that slowly and heared the voice of leaves as they were asking not to torn them, they were requesting me not to torn them, but as i want i did that (i.e i torned them) at the same instance, my mind striked me and told this is the way when god wants our life back from us then he doesn't wait for anything. he must have planned further for good of us or of others. he similarly did like us as an owner of anything having the right to destroy or to remain us alive for furte life. it is in his hands, we are just like a toy of his hands, playing our roles and if work or play completed then our game is over and he pulls us back for his love.

for what we are maknig haste or why somebody is killing other in any way, he is the supreme having all's threads and waiting for our finishing time. so live good , play nice roles that is the way of success.

what i felt .

These days, i am staying little away from my friends, i don't know what has happened with me. i want to remain alone and want to give time to my self more than others, but somewhere i am realising this too, that i am not managing anything, i am learning managing skills from my experiences. these days might be bad, i am alone and not meeting and talking with others but i am understanding self and others. that is a good point, i am learning how we have to live in this world. show your sminling face to everyone and take help from that who helps others.

all looks like animals only fulfilling their needs and stomach, to me. but instead of all this a face or a true face is coming infront of me.

as i take example of my friend, who wants to meet me because of completing his wish of roaming around on roads or in parks. only for that. and somewhere i look everyone in greed including my self as i am writing this to make people and be emotional to me. but i don't want that too. i donot want anybody's help and favour.

if i look from a different point of view then it seems, myself living in the world of negative thoughts and they are making me feel so.

the more and more i go beyond my thoughts or i get deep in to them, i find my self more weak and more negative towards everything. so what should i do, i should wait for the good time to come or i myself make try to make my life good and happy accepting all these things.

does i include this negativenessin my ways to success. is it benefiting me in any ways. still i am learning something from this time.

JAI SHREE RAADHE

HAPPY JANAMASHTMI.

THAT IS LORD KRISHNA IS HAVING HIS BIRTHDAY, TODAY. SO SAY WITH ME

HARE RAM HARE RAM, RAM RAM HARE HARE.

HARE KRISHAN HARE KRISHAN, KRISHAN KRISHAN HARE HARE.

Birth of Lord Krishna
Janmashtami is celebrated to welcome and enjoy Lord Krishna's birth. The birth of Lord Krishna took place when the various planets were in auspicious places. It is said that God chooses a particular time, as to when he will take birth as a human and the planetary systems are adjusted accordingly.

Auspicious Nakshatra (Constellation)

Around the time of Bhagwan Krishna's birth, Rohini Nakshatra was predominant as it is considered to be quite auspicious. This is so because it is under the supervision of Brahma, the creator of Universe. Sri Krishna was born in the month Of Sravana more than 5000 years ago.

Born in Dwapur Yug (Iron Age)

According to some scholars, Krishna was born on Wednesday,the eighth day of second fortnight in Sravana month in the year of Visvavasu around 3227 BC, also known as Dwapur Yug. July 19th 3228 BC to be more accurate. He lived for 125 years and disappeared on February 18th 3102 BC on the new moon night of Phalguna. His death was the onset of the current corrupt age known as Kaliyug.

Universal Happiness of all Forms of Life

From the time, Devki conceived Sri Krishna, she began to glow and exude divine light. The prison walls glowed with the aura of the new born infant. Atmosphere of peace and happiness prevailed all over, Forests were all green and full of trees with all kinds of beautiful flowers, rivers were all swollen due to joy, peacocks began to dance in sheer joy, people in all villages started being happy.

Objective of Krishna's Birth

The main objective of Lord Krishna's birth was to free Mother Earth from the wickedness of demons. Playing an important part in Mahabharata (legendary battle in Kurukshetra) and propagating the theory of bhakti and good karma were other important objectives.

Events Before The Birth of Sri Krishna

The people of Mathura were extremely unhappy with the wicked king Kansa who put his father, king Ugrasen in prison and declared himself the king of Mathura. It was to put an end to his evil ways and other demons that Lord Vishnu decided to take birth on Earth in human form. According to Akashvani (heavenly voice) at the wedding of his beloved sister Devki, Kansa got to know that the eighth child of his sister will take birth to kill him. So, in turn he rushed to kill his sister. Kansa gave up the idea of killing after being assured by Vasudev that he will handover all his children to him. He put them in Prison. Kansa killed all the six infants as soon as they were born. The seventh child (Balram) was saved due to divine intervention, when he was transferred from Devki's womb to that of Rohini's (other wife of Vasudev).

Events During the Birth of Lord Krishna

Lord Krishna was born in a prison cell in the captivity of King Kansa. He took birth in divine form with lotus like eyes,his palms bearing the signs of a lotus and discus. He had a swastika sign on his sole. Wearing a yellow colored silk cloth, adorned with precious diamond earrings and a crown made of emeralds. Soon after the birth, a chain of events astonished Vasudev,when he saw the gates of the cell flow open and all the guards fast asleep. He immediately thought of Nand ,his close friend in Gokul and decided to handover his child to him in order to save him from the clutch of Kansa.

River Yamuna Bows To The Feet of Sri Krishna

The night of birth was witnessed by heavy rains which led to River Yamuna being in floods. As soon as the feet of Lord immersed in the river, the flow became normal and Yamuna made way for the Lord. Sheshnag, the serpent formed an umbrella to save the new born baby from rain.

Exchange of the Babies

Vasudev kept his child next to fast asleep Yashoda and took the baby girl lying with him back to Mathura. The baby girl is believed to be the sister of Lord Vishnu.

Disappearance of The Divine Child

On hearing the news of birth of the eighth child of Devki and Vasudev, Kansa rushed to the prison-cell and lifted the baby girl to kill her despite pleadings from Devki. However, instead of hitting the stone, the child flew up in the air and announced that the annihilator of Kansa was born and in safe hands.Krishna later grew in Gokul and finally killed his maternal uncle, King Kansa.

LOVE

"We are born for love, it is the principle of existence, and its only end."
including love in success hears and looks odd to me also, but i thought a lot that love is the only purpose of life and loving is the beginning of every thing and it is the only end of life too. today, i want to write some things related to me, it would not be intresting somewhere but it would be relating some of us in many ways. it might be bringing some of us towards success and would be taking away from success.
i have met many people in my life yet, but non of that has taken special space in my heart. cause i have not given any space to tham in my heart. i was involved with many of then in many work, in many parties, in many get togethers too. nut i felt apart and aside of them many times, because i fet what we will gain from these things or meetings but what now i reliazes at this moment of life that, all things are waste except being with friends, being in love with all, and meeeting with friends and laughing with them is the only soul purpose of life somewhere.
i many a times also thought that, i will live my life in this way or that way but, this only gave tension and waste of time to me cause to learn life is id to live life's every moment with joy. cause we all will get departed someday, sometime but the only thing which will be left with us will be, only and only the talks and fun which we made with our friends.
ealier i used to live with every thing like i am passing my own time, i thought that i am clever and can do every thing,. but what these all gave to me is nothing just waste of my own life's precious time. cause it was in habbit of mine, which i reliased now. i reliased and came to know about self, knowing myself is like a mirror of my own image. what i feel now that i am running alone in a race course. running like a player who don't have any competitor, who don't have anyone behind him for his buck up. it seems like confusing words but need a lot of presence of mind, some may think i am a confused one. but i am not that, i am in also in those who want loe and its sharing with everyone.
i have used "i" many times in my sentences above, this shows that i am staying in my self. lol. making my self more complexive in nature and all these brings me to a conclusion of loving some but soully and every moment of life.
what you think am i fully expressing my self or not. expressing is knowing self and others.

CRUELTY CONTINUES

In the earlier post i was writing about how cruelty is and how it is to be handle.

i think what all matters is to understanding and ability to get aware of self power. i think self power and anger changes into creulty. cause all these are bounded in chain. all will come together, but one who manages them slowly and confidently is the ruler of self.

sometimes cruelty also comes in mind when one doesn't get his part of love and affection from anyone. cause everyone needs love example THE HITLER was also in need of love, he was very much attracted toward his loving wife. he was in love withhis own country, but might be his way of thinking may be diferent.

cruelty lies in heart of army men but for the enemy of the country, cause love is there for their own country. being cruel is not bad but if it is for the benfit of others only.

All cruelty springs from weakness

All cruelty comes from weakness, this is true because when don't know how to handle a situation then anger arise by itself, and angry one cannot solve any problem. only if it happens then he must be knowing that how to handle a problem.

Anger is the cause of cruelty that we all know, but i want to add a thing more here that having patience is the only solution for any problem. if i take example:- as a mother caring her son, she sometimes also gives slaps to the baby. when a child comes in age of 4-10 then she/he ask for something and she/he does not get that thing then she/he start srying for that on public places or at malls somewhere, then she might give a slap to her children to behave properly. all that , i want to say that sometimes she must not be knowing how to solve or handle a problem. that's why she acts in anger. and many situations are there for many men and women, not knowing there own persona.

if a person knows his own persona then he will act in different manner in different situation. i think he should know his self, his properties, etc. because knowing self also led to know others. so not to change the topic. i believe that cruelty word is not made for mothers cause they know love only, cause in their cruelty her good nature is hidden.

cruel are those who don't know how to use mind. a well educated person would always remain calm and soft. where as an illiterate person will act in cruel way always. i will continue this topic later..............................................................

My thoughts

"WHAT WE LEARN WITH PLEASURE, WE NEVER FORGET."

We learn many things many times and if a person is addictive of learning new things every moment then will surely find something to learn.

i think every one who is human being and able to understand anything, will surely have and will like to learn anything everytime. every time anything new, anything to do cause anyone cannot stop his/her will or mind thinking except those who do the practice of concentration and yoga or some exercises. if i take example of anyone from the beginning of the day as he/she would like to go to see the new morning (cause we want something new), after that some tea or refreshment(in that too some learning are there), after bathing to job or somewhere to find something new(only to learn ) anyone watching anything, doing anywork, talking to anyone learns a new thing.

that's why i think learning is the only purpose of life. but what i discussed earlier is in the habbits of our. but if we do that habbit with pleasure then we will surely find something new and we will surely progress in life.

every new word bring us close to our aim but if we have faith and pleasure in that word.

WHO IS BRAVE

"HE IS BRAVE WHO CONQUERS ANOTHER,BUT WHO CONQUERS HIMSELF IS SUPREMELY NOBLE."

sometimes these sentences looks so heavy, that they can't be gulped up by anyone easily. even sometimes i think, what i am writing is correct ? and i ask myself that i understand these words or not. teaching and telling others is very easy but implementing on self is difficult.

so , i checked my self many times am i going on my way or not.

i noted many things about self, then i came to know that i am doing and on my way. what i see that i have to go on on my way for full development and success. questioning self is very important.

so here is the answer of above line winning self is the noble and answer is questuion yourself where you stand in true world? what you are doing?

comment my blog.

SUCCESS IS HABBIT

IS THE SUCCESS A HABBIT OR MORE THAN THAT,

asking this type of questions looks stupidity sometimes, but if anybody thinks and have a look about this topic then he/she would surely shake his/her head once. cause success is not only attaining the destiny once it is also maintaining that stage or position. being in that stage is also important because if someone relaxes at that stage then he/she would surely loose that position sometime.

habbit is also needed at eery point of life if i take a short example of regular and ddaily habbits as if any person exercises daily but he left that for a month or more then in between of his daily routine then his physical aility to fight against many things like pollution, dust molecule will get diminish and he would get ill soon. so this is a simple example from life.

being in habbit of success also make s us able to move further from our previous and present position. it makes us able to fight and in the state of flow, which brings self confidence and a kind of happiness in us.

love the path of success, love success is the only way for being a successful person. if i am wrong at anypoint then do tell me.

VOW FOR OTHERS OR SELF

"DO NOT TAKE A VOW, YOU MIGHT BREAK IT TOMMOROW.JUST TRY NOT TO DO IT AGAIN"

I want to know that vows or promises are made for self or others. as an exmaple a drunked person promises that he will not drink again in life, but every body knows that he will surely break his vow. so qwhy these promises are made for. another example if i takes it on me too, i promised a week later to myself that i will not do a thing which harms my health in any way, but i did it yesterday. so what i am doing, yes i am breaking my own promise which was given to myself. i also knows that it brings my self confidence down.

what i need to do is to try and try at every movement of mine, and i have to take a step against in against of my own habbit. so that i can figh with that. only thing is needed is self confidence which increase by practicing hard.there is a thiing in ourselves that is will power, and it also increases by practice. sonever stop to fight with your disability or against that whome you want to win.

it is now making us not able to win and by practicing hard we will not make it win and it will loose by itself every next time. so being strong from is the only medicing and that brings success.

BE A FISH FOR AIM

"Be a fish, which cannot live without water" similarly if we become like it, if we make us like it toward our work for being a successful person then no one would be there to stop us.

thinking aim as breath. and breathing everytime for aim will surely lead us towards success.

share your views, so that i can be more clear to explain.

SLOW AND STEADY TOWARDS SUCCESS

To get success, some guys do many efforts but they donot reach their destiny, cause might be their negligence.

As i take example of myself, what i used to do was panic in everything as whie eating i used to eat very fastly, if any work is given to me then i try to do that very fastly and even when i was at examination chamber, i used to make so hurry in my work that sometimes i forget many points of the topic and many things like making border lines, underlining major steps, or sentences. this is a part of negligence. so, i learnt now, to handle anything asily and slowly cause it makes things perfect and accurate. being hasty makes more confusion, makes unable to handle easy things more difficult. so i decided not to being a hasty person. it drops down personality and makes a confusing personality.

"I NOW BELIEVE IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR PATH TO SUCCESS THEN YOU HAVE TO BE ACCURATE AND STEADY. HABBIT OF THAT WILL MAKE BYITSELF FAST. "

WHAT YOU THINK, AM I RIGHT ?

THOUGHTS OF MINE

" TO DO FOR THE WORLD MORE THAN THE WORLD DOES FOR YOU, THAT IS SUCCESS"

Is this sentence provokes you or force you to do something for others. i have been on these words, and used to of these too. i realize that while following this, no body will be with you. only you will be there on your path. others will come and go, they will make use of yous but when you will go to them for your help, they will not help. at that time you might get angry and think of being as they are. but later you will realize that they were always wrong and you was true.

follow your path, they will surely come back to you for your help, for you favor , and you will see you will surely help you cause it is your nature. so be that god will be with you. as i experience him he is always with me.

Define yourself

Is there anything which can fully define you, other than you or is there anyone who can define you better than yourself, yes I agree this sentences cause, if a person knows himself then there would be a genious.but actually there are one of many who is anle to do so.
yes i am talking about friends they can tell what you are in a taunting way, in joks, in every thing they share with you. this is another way of getting success in knowing self.
sometimes the friends may not be person, it may be pet of yours, may be books of yours, may be blog of yours where you write yourself. and i think there must be a friend with us in anyform, if it is not then we will not be able to live.
Make your own way. a new slogan of mine.

living successfully

Our lives will continue to be messy, full of sorrows and unhappiness until we learn how to get rid of this "I" and "My".
for living successfully, we have to follow some passionate way or live like life flows on or there might be many ways like living courageouly, proudly. but if we always think somebody will come and change our lives then we are wrong. we have to change for living differently. live in that way in which you want to live. but there are some difficulties or many things which will stp you to go or achive success in that way too. so living any type of life needs that much force inside that can lead you toward success.
changing the way in between will always cause occurance of sorrow for further life. we have to follow that selected way by us, that will byitself bring happiness to you and many awards too but that might be before sorrow or after it. the only thing we need is to sticking ability and hard heart somewhere for any pain.
actually waht i think if we start learning about how to live life then we can'tlive life fully. so be in the pool of life and start swimming in that, if swimming ability is not with us then it will come by own.
There are times too when someone in the way meets with us and walk with us and thoughts interchanges, so the reason for meeting with them is to interchnge knowledge and loving them cause they are teachers and friends like god to handle many unknown situations together.
living and loving life is also the ability, which is gained by some of us after hard practice or after watching many difficult conditions. loving life is also a very important aspect of life and giving love to others is the only reason to learning successfully any way.
so never have the feeling of "I" or "My" cause it departs us from the way and with those friends who were with us on that way of being successful.

follow the path which is legal

sometimes we think of finding shortcut for getting success and sometimes somebody may won on that path too.

but his/her's stability at that point would be for a small time cause behind this is that he/she does'nt know varioius steps which have been missed. that steps or stages are for learning new and great thing like experience. Reaching the aim is not only a part of success, staying and maintaining that stage with self is very much difficult and needs proper care too.

for example:- a new building is made but after few years it will need maintainance, if that is not done at time then anything can happen which may cause heavy loss anytime.

following the legality is must, as illegal ways are easier for theives but later they came to know or realizes what they have become. so why to live in scare, live like a king who watch every knows every moment in his premises although he might be out of that.

be active and work constantly for success, dont follow shortcuts.

My thoughts

Pain, grief, sorrow and misery are the fruits of which passion is the flower.
i dont belive on this line cause now a days only make the thing attractive. it will be easily sell in the market. now everyone loves attraction.

Success in love continues.......

What today I learnt from one, is that never to say or show your love or emotions to beloved one too much.  Because sometimes she/he might get angery due to that. but showing love is the way or manner in which one usually shows his love to his beloved.
Important thing according to me is the "Understanding" which must be there in between two. But this is only a love which is being showed.
success in love not lies sometimes in telling your beloved one, each and every feeling of yours. But also hiding some feelings in yourself.  It will increase the taste of love. for making you good for your beloved one. knowing all about beloved one is first step of love towards the success.
Love is only love.True stage is that in which you become her and she becomes you. this is real successful stage. and if you become what your beloved one want you to be, then it is also a success.
being in love for other will make you feel like heaven. You will not aware of yourself what you were and what you are and will be. staying in her or his thoughts will make you sometime mad. but that madness if true and from truth of your mind then that will be a success. so love other from heart of yours, living life will be better and awsome. what you think.

Is this a success of love

In this blog, i want to discuss about the nature or behaviour of many about their precious love. i am telling that what i think, now a days some guy believe that loving is girl is only to the extent of taking her to the bedroom and nothing else. they treat her first very nicely and softly. they show care for her and then many things occurs which true love doesn't need. i as a boy belive that girls initially act too softly and too ignore may things of her boyfriend's too but later they also start enjoying that what her boyfriend do. and what boys do all knows that they leave or break the relation. but i do agree for that, there are some guys too who are ready to do further relation as beyond to marriage and they also show extreem of there love too.
but what i see in previous type of love which i discussed earlier is not true anywhere, it is based on the floor of lie.
i have an example of one of my friend who loves a girl and she too loves her. they have true love. they meet smetimes, and sometimes they only see eachother from a distance but their eyes do meet. in this they are happy and they do not think about future cause they want to love each moment they spent or spend tpgether. in my view this is true love.
love is all around us but guys or girls thinks that, it can be boundede more efficiently by having that relationship which can make their life hell later. they just want to enjoy that moments. they can't and dont have control on their own emotions. but why these situations arises. we have to find that and solve that too.
so being a writer or a blogger, i want to say somelines.
love satys in eyes, love grows in heart.
love stays in breath, love flows in nerves.
and life of lover stays in soul of beloved.
living with true love might be very hard then that love which is based on lie.

now a days all want to spend their time with their beloved one, some do that on phone, in resturant or somewhere else.